Just now at the South Slope YMCA, I waited in line behind the commuters and parents for my turn on an elliptical. One opened, and I pounced. I was setting up when someone started tapping hard on my machine. I looked back and a middle-aged guy was waving a bleach pad at me.

HIM: <irritated> Don’t you see I haven’t cleaned the handles yet?

ME: <steps aside> By all means.

HIM: <mumbles as he wipes off the handles>

ME: What’s that?

HIM: Unless you don’t want me to leave.

ME: I wouldn’t say that.

HIM: <puts on his headphones, slows and accentuates his motions wiping the handles, and finally makes to go>

ME: <loudly> Try not to let this ruin your day!

AuthorJohn Proctor