Breeds of Misery: Woe is me, first-world problems, post-boy band solo careers
Best/Worst Lines: Every. Single. One. It hurts my fingers to even think of typing them.
This is probably the most deserving song of any here, if only because it holds the twin distinction of being painfully, uncomfortably miserable for both the singer and the listener. Probably best known as a New Kids on the Block sidekick in the late Eighties/early Nineties, Page has a voice that reflects that pedigree. This piece of It's-Christmas-I-Miss-You ilk, recorded around the time of Page's short-lived ride on the NKOTB train, is possibly the worst Christmas song ever recorded. Pure misery. (Page is now Head of Music Partnerships for Pandora, so he seems to have recovered.)