Breeds of misery: Communal degradation, food "products," second-hand smoke

Best/worst lines: "Carve the turkey, turn the ball game on. Make Bloody Mary's
'cause we all want one! Send somebody to the Stop & Go, we need some celery and a can of fake snow. A bag of lemons and some Diet Sprites, a box of tampons, and some Salem Lights. Halelujah, everybody say cheese! Merry Christmas from the Family!"

Imagine National Lampoon'sChristmas Vacation as a song. Actually, imagine John Hughes listening to this song (it came first, after all) and thinking, "How can I make this into a movie?" Then, imagine my family watching Christmas Vacation every holiday season since 1992 and saying to each other, "No matter what happens, at least it's not this bad." And imagine me humming the chorus to this song in my head and thinking, "It could be worse."

AuthorJohn Proctor