Breeds of Misery: Generational poverty, playing Santa Claus in a department store, being mugged by a pack of feral boys
Best/Worst Verse: "But give my daddy a job 'cause he needs one, he's got lots of mouths to feed. But if you've got one I'll have a machine gun, so I can scare all the kids on the street."
If the poor black kids of "Santa Claus, Go Straight to the Ghetto" are positively begging for a visit from the fat white man, the poor white kids aren't nearly so gracious. This and David Sedaris's great essay on playing a Macy's elf serve to expose the seedy underbelly of the department store Santa trade.
(If this isn't enough yuletide misery for you, check out last year in my Annotated Playlists.)