Breeds of Misery: Matricide, bereavement, hero debasement

Best/Worst Verse: "When we found her Christmas morning at the scene of the attack, she had hoof prints on her forehead and incriminating claws (Claus) marks on her back."

OK, perhaps too obvious. But man, what a horrific situation for a humorous holiday novelty song. And it gets even darker if those are Claus marks, not claws marks, on her back. (Apparently, someone created a direct-to-video animated adaptation in 2000, which I have not seen but seems to blend the song with It's A Wonderful Life and (SPOILER ALERT) brings back Grandma at the end. Cowards.)

AuthorJohn Proctor