TODAY I SAW THAT A CERTAIN HIPSTER BAR IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD IS HAVING A PROMOTION INVOLVING SCREENINGS OF SAVED BY THE BELL. THIS IS WRONG. HIPSTERISM HAS REACHED AN ENTIRELY NEW REALM OF POST-IRONY WHEN IT DECIDED TO INCORPORATE THIS BLIGHTED POCKMARK ON THE NINETIES INTO ITS REALM OF SARCASTOSTALGIA. I PERSONALLY LOVE THE NINETIES - IT'S PROBABLY MY SECOND (MAYBE THIRD) FAVORITE DECADE - BUT THIS SHOW IS NOT REPRESENTATIVE OF ANYTHING GOOD ABOUT THE NINETIES. IN FACT, LIKE FULL HOUSE, FAMILY MATTERS, EVEN FRESH PRINCE OF BEL AIR, IT'S REPRESENTATIVE OF THE DYING CORPORATE EIGHTIES OF BAD SITCOMS WE ALL HAD TO PRETEND TO LAUGH AT THAT THE ADVENT OF THE INTERNET AS MAINSTREAM MEDIA AND THE RISE OF INDEPENDENT CINEMA/MUSIC/PUBLISHING SUPPOSEDLY FREED US FROM. SO IT'S ESPECIALLY IRONIC THAT HIPSTER IRONY HAS LED YOUNG PEOPLE WHO DESPERATELY WANT TO SEEM NEW AND DIFFERENT BACK TO THE WORST OF MAINSTREAM CORPORATE MEDIA PROGRAMMING. BAD SWEATERS AND FEATHERED HAIR, EVEN WORN IRONICALLY, ARE STILL BAD SWEATERS AND FEATHERED HAIR. IF YOU'RE NOT IN JUNIOR HIGH (AND LET'S NOT KID OURSELVES, BAYSIDE IS A JUNIOR HIGH MASQUERADING AS A HIGH SCHOOL), YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE.
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