When you’re a 17-year-old girl visiting your 40-year-old brother in New York City and he decides to take you to a Lorde show so you’ll think he’s cool, and you get really creeped out by all the people in the crowd huddled so close to you, pushing their way in front of you, and your brother notices this and somehow thinks the best thing to do is to tell a group of girls who are a little older than you and a lot younger than him, “Please don’t move in front of us,” and one of the girls in the group replies, “Well, now we have to stand in front of you, just on principle.” Text as many people back home as you can, post something passive-aggressive on social media, tell him to stop acting like he’s your dad—the dad you both share, who was a teenage criminal when your brother was born and is now a tired, depressed old man. Everyone in your family just seems so old, and you just want to be in New York City, at this show, with someone who understands you. Only no one understands you. Not even you.

What are the Sneaky Feels?

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AuthorJohn Proctor